तन्हाई

आवाज़ों का क़ाफ़िला है! 

फिर भी क्यों तन्हाई है ।

दोस्तों की महफ़िल है ! 

ना जाने क्यों फिर भी यूँ अकेला हूँ ।

रंग ही रंग हैं! 

पर सब बेरंग है ।

फूलों के मौसम में यह केसी पतझड़ है ! 

ख़ुशी के दिन हैं फिर भी ये उदासी है ।

बरसों बीत गये उस आँगन से विदा हुए

आज भी उस घर कि सब यादें ताज़ा हैं।

INDIAN MARRAIGE SYSTEM

I Have been married for last ten years, 11th going.

And lately I have been wondering is it really worthwhile to get married.

I am not into a bad marriage. my husband does not beat me up, and i do not undergo sexual, physical or mental torture. Infact, he respects my choices, loves me and cares for me.

I have a wonderful son, who is sensible enough to guess my moods and loves me a lot.

But then still there are days when I feel empty, need someone to talk to fill that emptiness.

There are days when I wish that like my husband i should also live with my parents.

There are days when I feel that like his mother and father pamper him, there should be someone to pamper me.

There are days when I feel that when I come home back from work, i feel atleast someone should ask me how my day was.

There are days when I want to go shopping all alone, without anyone telling me not to pick this or that.

There are days when I wish to be pampered like my husband.

And then I ponder is this just the side effect of Indian marriage system.

And are these only for one or for both? Must be for both. Obviously even Men sacrifice so much though not to that extent. 

Are live in relationships not the right answer.

Both have their space without too much family interference.

I know that many will not buy what I say. 

But is not good ? Marriage is the end of romance,  that taken for granted attitude, too much mine and your family.

Just pondering .....

Don't worry, you'll be okay

Don't worry, you'll be okay

Slowing down is good

Wisdom simmers and steeps and grows with time

Stop pushing yourself

You are enough just as you are

There is no need to perform

Just relax

Let life unfold

You have what it takes to handle anything

Anything

Good things come from patience, not pushing

Let space and time reveal something miraculous

Trust life

Accept where you are

Right now

Stop the judgment and internal lectures

Just be here

Don't run or think or eat or scheme

Return to yourself in this moment

Where life is perfect and peaceful and safe

So much to say

There is so much to say, but no one to hear.There is so much to say, but words fail me.

Like flood waters waiting to burst the dam, so are those unspoken, unworded feelings fluttering to break open the boundaries.

Like bright flames of fire, waiting to burn its confines, and step out.

Like school children waiting for the bell to ring, to jump out of their classes and rush back home.

So is something within me, urging me to free myself of imaginative boundaries.

International woman's day

8th march ....Today is International woman's day. 

As a strong advocate of women rights, i am actually relishing it like my birthday and wishing all my girlie friends. 

But on second thoughts, why do we celebrate it. Do we have something like International Men day. Why don't they need a day to celebrate?

The website dedicated to International woman day marks it as a  global day celebrating the economic, political and social achievements of women past, present and future.
So on a retrospect are we actually accepting that gender inequality has been present since times and we need a day to tell that yes females are equal.
The first woman's day was celebrated as early as 1908, and 107 years later have we been able to prove our equality, or are we just trying to celebrate our superiority.

Woman is the beginning of life. She nurtures within her a life, gives birth to a child. Still, why does she need to prove her greatness to the very being she created.

She becomes a daughter, a friend, a sister, wife and a mother....illuminates the home she is born into...without questioning leaves that house ...to begin anew with whoever she gets married to. Isn't it greatness?

She has proved herself as doctor, engineer, artist, astronaut, politician, banker.

But then why does she still get those cold looks when she demands her space/ her share in the society.

Why is she scorned upon if she has a boyfriend or has a love marriage? why is she asked to prove her virginity by Gods and humans alike? Why do incidents like " nirbhaya" happen? Why is she being preached what to wear? Why cant she roam alone when she wants to it? why cant she have a sip of alcohol if she wants to? Why do we call her " characterless", if she does any of that?

Why has she failed to teach her worth to the very sons she bore? This is probably where she has failed. 

And until she does this, there will be a need of International Women's Day.

Love in the times of whats app

Why? Pratik why? Why did u do this to me?

Sneha had been crying for last one hour or so, but still could not stop her tears for coming. 

Pratik had come home damn tired and had slept right after dinner.

And then this phone call... Had turned her balance upside down. 

For the last few months... she couldn't  even remember how long... Sneha and Pratik had been just living as strangers in the same house. 

He was increasingly busy with his patients, hospital, conferences, that somehow it had become a routine. 

But tonight after a phone from his hospital, She had somehow unknowingly checked his what's app.

There was chat with some girl she hadn't even a hint about. 

And after that she had  just  been crying, and Pratik was comforting her.

At first his reaction had been denial, but then he had accepted to meeting this girl almost 8 to 10 yrs younger than him at some conference. 

At first , it had been those good morning messages but slowly and steadily flirting ... And then love u messages.

Why pratik? Was I not good enough? Where did I fail? Sneha kept mumbling

Pratik was accepting this was a mistake and he had never ever thought of leaving her.

No Sneha, please don't cry. I promise I will never do this again. 

But Sneha had lost. Lost her entire world, ...

Sneha ... U are a fool... U married when the marriage itself had been a big drama.

Pratik's parents had never wanted her as she was from a different caste. Somehow pratik was adamant and marriage did take place.

But never had his parents failed in making her realize, that she and her parents are lowly beings.

Still, she had accepted every thing and lived in the same house, trying to win them over.

But today she had lost. LOST.......her entire world.

"Dont make a fool of me Pratik, You are free to go wherever u want, but dont cheat me".

"Sneha ...please dont say these things. I am sorry. I will never do this again. But please do not cry.
I will leave everything. I will come home in time. Never make you feel like this again."

Next month they had planned a holiday to switzerland.

"I am not going anywhere with you, Pratik".

No Sneha, please. Don't be so hard on me. I love you and only you. I don't have a reason. why i did this? I can only ask you to forgive me. Please give me one Chance...Sneha please.



Night had turned into morning and she had still been awake.

It had been three months since that night. The wounds never healed. Somedays, would be too good and at times they would fight. Fight because sneha wanted a revenge. She wanted him to repay for each tear, she had since they had met.

Pratik was hopeful. Life would resume back. His sneha will be his darling again. But He had no answers for her. It was becoming painful for both of them, but he stuck on silently for the tide to pass over, because it had been his mistake.

Sneha had been his love and constant encouragement to where he had reached today. But he had got carried away by his own success.
Time is a big healer and he was hopeful that he would win her back.

But sneha had lost her Trust, and she did not know how to get it back.



"Hello! Is this Dr Pratik? Your wife has met with an accident. she is being shifted to Lifecare Hospital".

Two hours before pratik had got call from an unknown number and he had rushed to the hospital.
Sneha had got multiple injuries, but was safe. Sneha had been lucky. Anyone who had seen the car could not believe that she had survived.

"I am sorry, Pratik. I don't know what happened. The car"

"It's ok. Sneha. Anyway that car was to be changed".

And Sneha was coming back to senses. It is human to make mistakes. She had made one today. she could have been dead or she could have killed someone. How long could she be a zombie....living in the past. She could have lost everything today. Was it not better to live that chance again, to rebuild together  again.

Pratik knew his sneha was coming back to him again and this time he had almost lost her, but now he would never let her go again.

Transformation of a desert

Human mind is amazing.

If it is on right track, it can do wonders.
Dubai....Truly a city of wonders. Just imagine a desert and now one of the most beautiful places in world.
 Look at Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world and one feels amazed. Every morning on my way to work, i keep tracking the burj from metro and i feel proud of mankind.

Not just Burj, but everything around here gives one a satisfaction of what a human mind can do. Beautiful architecture, evenly spaced buildings, wide roads, total hassle free transportation.
Even the electricity and water bills or for that matter payment of fines, hassle free one click system.
The city just amazes me.

Miracle Garden - a true miracle. The most beautiful garden I have ever seen that too not in greener landscapes but in a desert. Just flower pots placed to make formations with an efficient drip system to water them, and I bow to the minds which created it.

Truly breath taking Beautiful Human mind!

But this same mind can cause destruction, if it goes on wrong path.

What a contrast! A reality and the biggest irony of life.

The Migratory Birds.

I never viewed myself as a person attached to places, events and things. I have been a free bird, with my family being my anchor, where i would return to.

So, when my husband decided to move to Dubai, neither of us including our six year old were alien to the idea. In fact, we welcomed the change with open arms and were pretty excited to move to the next innings of life.

I had my reservations though.I was worried if i would be able to clear Exam and get a job there. I envy my engineering friends, they are welcome in any corner of world, though the specifications of machines and software varies from place to place. We, as doctors have to prove ourselves by a test in any country we go, although human body is same, be it India or Any other place and same American Text books are followed all over the world.

Ever since i learnt driving, my car was my soul-mate, my independence. It knew my tears, my happiness, my feelings and was the probably only place where i would be myself. But moving to this new place would mean giving away this independence, as getting license here is too trobulesome.

Nevertheless, my Husband assured me ALL IS WELL. And with my anchors by my side my son and my husband, I moved to Dubai 3 months back.

Well, as human body and medical teachings are same everywhere I cleared my exam, got a job, much respectable than my previous one. I still have to get my license.

But, Now i wonder is it so easy. Are we actually free birds? I miss my friends. I miss my favourite places, my favorite eat-outs, my parents, my sweet niece.

I miss that air, polluted though it was, those streets, dirty though they were. But It was MY INDIA, the country which gives me my Identity.

And here I am in an alien land, in a different culture, which sometimes terrifies me, and i have none who i can tell this.

Probably you are free bird where u feel secure, and in a strange land i still have to feel secure.

And my thought goes to the migratory birds! do they feel the way i feel.

Book review : Arjun without a doubt.

Arjun : without a doubt. Truly awesome book by Dr Sweety Shinde.

When I first came across the title, I was not sure I wanted to read another of Gita- Mahabharata thing.

But somehow the book's cover and FB page made me give it a try and I am glad I did.

No, it is not a twisted version of Mahabharata. It is a saga of Arjun the great warrior, who never got the due credit for his greatness and Draupadi who has always been misunderstood through ages.

The narrative is gripping and as the story unfolds the reader is thirsty for me. Like the author words it ' If learning was a river I was forever unquenchably thirsty'....so is the reader thirsty for more coz it ends too soon. 

What I liked best was trying to understand Draupadi's feeling when she was forced into polyandry, her love for Arjun and her strength and feelings when she was disrobed. 

The book has lovely quotes, and few of my favourite are 

1. Parents should come with a warning sign that they are not perfect; elders are just flawed people who happen to be born earlier.

2. Tears are infinitely more precious than blood. Blood spurts from the body, tears stream from the soul.

3. If motherhood transformed a woman  into a goddess, then why should the act responsible for this transformation be a sin.

4. But the best is always a state of flux, it is a constant endeavour; not a one time title.

5. Virtue is that which lasts inspite of power.

6. No person is great in isolation. It takes many hands to shape life. Denial would mean conceit and conceit is not the same as self respect.

Overall, definitely a must read.

The fairer sex

So much has been said about gender equality, females are equal to males and bla bla....but how many women's may become doctors, engineers, diplomats and so on.... Fairer sex is still on the fair side.

Back in India, I used to feel that this happens only in India that a woman works 26 hrs a day. I used to have those pangs in my tummy...that why at the end of the day....when I have at times worked more than my husband....I am expected to cook, help my child in studies, do all household work...prepare for next day....and why my husband is treated like a king.

Than I landed in one of the modern cities, a different culture all together, and today I realise wherever you go women have same plight. At least I am a working woman, so I had my share of financial freedom and a niche for myself. When I look at my homemaker counterparts ( I am against the term housewives, coz they put so much energy and effort into making that house a beautiful home) , I realize the sense of dominance there husbands give them. What did you do whole day? Gosh ! It was a robotic house, the moment you were out of the door, the house set itself right. The food got cooked on its own and everything was done automatically.

Why are woman expected to cover up head to toe even at temperatures as high as 50C. They do not feel hot. Why should they cover head, when men can't cover there chests. 

And these questions ponder in my head I read female columnists justifying all this as they are the chosen one.

And I still ponder Fairer sex is fair still?